To Deserve

There is no way of defining what it is to “deserve”. I will never understand why you may or may not deserve what has happened to you- as you don’t I. When confronted with perpetual possibility we stand defeated. You and I both; we do what we can to make sense , to justify. There is no telling what is deserved. I’ve gone through my life believing in a universal balance. Walked down the streets with good faith that everyone around me has positive intentions. I’ve fooled myself into believing there is always a reason. I am privileged in this sense; I have had the luxury of perceiving the world in a haze of my youth, my naivete. This past year alone, It’s almost as if I’ve awoken to the horrors that engulf me. I cannot find reason, regardless of how I might desperately forage for it. The things I’ve witnessed were not deserved, I can’t see how they could be.